Burn the Corrupt Politicians

Consider, if you will, the amount of energy contained within the body of a corrupt politician.

Burning Corrupt Politicians for Fun and Profit

Crematoriums are beginning to work out ways of modifying their procedures in order to generate more energy than they consume from the burning of human bodies:

“Capturing heat from cremations to create energy is a significant new way in thinking about the dead body and how it is taken care of.”

…. Dr Troyer has been working on the project with Haycombe Cemetery and Crematorium in Bath for over a year and believes that one day it could potentially produce enough energy to sell back to the National Grid. __BathScienceCafe

Although North America may suffer from occasional “energy shortages”, it has never suffered from a shortage of corrupt politicians–and probably never will. Animal flesh byproducts from turkey and hog processing plants have been used to create renewable fuels, as a side industry. Consider, if you will, the amount of energy contained within the body of a corrupt politician. Closely related to both the turkey and the pig, corrupt politicians would be quite energy rich, if processed properly.

North America occasionally suffers from “political peak oil” — energy shortages caused by corrupt politicians who cater to special interest groups by making energy supplies too expensive or illegal to develop. The energy is there, but the corrupt politicians do not want us to develop it. What can we do? I propose to kill two birds with one stone.

When corrupt politicians become more trouble than they are worth, they can be sent as waste to thermochemical energy processing plants, to be turned into useful energy. By processing the politicians at random times in the middle of their terms, replacements can be installed in special elections before special interest groups have time to prepare. If the new politicians actually help solve energy problems instead of making them worse, they will be more useful alive, than by being turned into energy. In the more likely case that the new politicians become corrupt themselves, they can be converted to energy in the same way as their predecessors.

Politicians are typically a significant part of every problem. But now we can make them part of the solution, whether they like it or not.

Adapted from an original Al Fin article.

PDF on Catalytic Fast Pyrolysis Technology

Trust Oregon to save the corrupt politicians, and burn the babies

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