The wizard of the western world descended into the abyss while battling the Balrog monster named COVID. To the amazement of the world, he has returned with a new visage, and a revitalized mission — to defeat those twisted men of power who create the monstrous orcs, balrogs, and goblins — and who force all men to live in fear.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—While battling the darkest monster from the pit of hell, known as “COVID,” Donald the Orange fell to his doom several days ago, sacrificing himself to save America from the deadly demon.
So Americans were ecstatic to learn that Donald the Orange had returned in a new, better form, now known as Donald the White. A brilliant white light shone from Walter Reed Medical Center as Donald the White emerged just in time to save America from COVID, Antifa, and the Deep State.
“I come back to you now at the turn of the tide!” he cried as he rode triumphantly out in the presidential limousine, codenamed “Shadowfax,” cutting right through the ravenous hordes of Antifa counterprotesters blocking the way.
“Donald! Donald the Orange!” cried his supporters outside Walter Reed Medical Center.
“Yes…” he said as he sat in the back of Shadowfax. “Yes… Donald the Orange… that is what they used to call me.” The newly revived president has a newfound passion for life and even more energy than before…https://babylonbee.com/news/donald-the-orange-returns-triumphantly-as-donald-the-white
In striking contrast to the manner of his corrupted and much reduced opponent, Donald’s return in a different guise strikes a virile pose that the dwarf “sleepy Joe” could never hope to match. And while crazed leftist orcs are reduced to barking at the moon and “COVID experts” wail in fear over tests of questionable worth, Donald the White assumed the risk of life and rode the balrog monster COVID down to the depths where he battled to victory over the demon from Wuhan, China.
While the profile of the typical coronavirus decedent has been known for months—median age 80, suffering from co-morbidities that likely would have killed the person anyway—the exact path of transmission remains mysterious. There is no correlation globally between degree of lockdowns and coronavirus death rates. Countries such as Britain that imposed strict lockdowns have massively higher death rates than many countries, such as Japan, that mandated no lockdowns. Deaths and hospitalizations are going down in localities that were more commerce-friendly. There is still no uncontroverted evidence on mask-wearing. Thousands upon thousands of people who have assiduously worn masks have gotten the virus; thousands upon thousands who have not worn masks have not gotten it. Countries with extensive mask-wearing show no better results than several where people breathe free outdoors. What we do know is that transmission occurs overwhelmingly in poorly ventilated indoor spaces, between individuals who have been in close contact for a considerable period of time—15 minutes, in the CDC’s contact-tracing guidelines. The viral load in circulating outdoor air is too low to pose a risk to people passing one another in ordinary street interactions. __ Against Fear
Lockdowns benefited billionaires such as Jeff Bezos — whose company Amazon has benefited more than any other. While Jeff Bezos’ newspaper The Washington Post was promoting lockdowns to gullible rubes, Jeff Bezos’ cash cow Amazon was raking in the chips. Meanwhile, Jeff Bezos’ political allies attacked Donald the Orange in rabid tones, over the economic toll the country paid as a whole because of lockdowns.
Donald the White vs. Sleepy Joe the Wary
People are speculating as to how this will play out over the next month and how it will affect the election. I have no idea. But I think that those who believe in trying to eliminate all risk are probably not the ones thinking of voting for Trump in the first place. They are the ones for whom the image of a masked, sequestered, and subdued Biden is reassuring. __ Life is a Risk
Note: Posing real life in terms of tales, myths, and archetypes is something we may expect from a Carl Jung, a Joseph Campbell, or a Jordan Peterson. But on a deep level that is how we humans store and analyze the world, in terms of mythical narratives. President Trump has been opposed by every powerful institution — political, media, corporate, academic, etc. — since he began seriously dipping his toes into the fetid pool of politics. He has literally fought the monsters of the swamp at every turn, with support largely coming from ordinary working people.
The ginned up “Russian Collusion” conspiracy was aided and abetted by the Obama FBI, CIA, NSA, FISA, Department of State, Department of Justice, and numerous other agencies of the swamp. But it was played to the American people as if it were genuine news, for three years. The same broad spectrum organized mendacity was shown in the phony impeachment ordeal. Faked scandal after faked scandal were put forward in the effort to separate Donald the Orange from his supporters who believed that the wizard in the White House was all that was standing between them and the monstrous swamp forces of doom that threaten the western world and western civilization. And by and large, they still believe that.
And so the myth marches on toward an extended denouement, a wildly contested election which may never reach a firm and clean conclusion if the swamp forces have their way.
So hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. It is never too late for a Dangerous Childhood © .
About those tests: