To answer that question, it is important to understand that there are very real differences between men and women — starting fairly early in the womb.
Watch the video above, or go to this website to reflect on 50 of the genuine differences between boys and girls, men and women. We may as well be different species of beings, for all the differences in how we view the world. And yet in many ways, we are the same. It is possible to understand each other, but we have to try in an honest and open manner. That attitude can be very rare in men or women.
When considering the question “What Do Women Want?” it is important to distinguish between women who are on the feminine end of the spectrum, and women who are on the masculine end. Most women tend to be more toward the feminine end of womanhood, so understanding what is most important to that larger group of women will be useful to most men who are interested in interacting with women.
Feminine women are very interested in being provided safety, security, and certainty. If a man can supply those things to a feminine woman, she will give him a lot of leeway in other departments. But safety, security, and certainty don’t always come from money and power. If the man cannot supply a sufficient level of emotional safety, security, and certainty beyond physical and material needs, he is leaving himself vulnerable to being taken out by men capable of supplying both, and more. Emotional fulfillment comes from a genuine connection, and that can only happen in the long term when partners are honest.
Romance and adventure are the icing on the cake for feminine women, but not the cake itself.
Masculine women and in-between women are a different story, of course, although inside every masculine woman is a feminine woman just waiting to grab the controls — if only for a long enough time to turn her world topsy-turvy.
Masculine women obtain safety, security, and certainty for themselves in much the same ways that men set about to provide them. But they often do not mind the additional safety, security, and certainty that a man can provide — along with a solid portion of romance and adventure.
In-between women are more subject to swinging from an internal source of certainty to an external source of certainty. Much depends upon the hormone flows, past and present.
“Every single baby starts out the same gender in the womb. There’s no difference between male and female babies, we’re all female. I did, you did, Sylvester Stallone did, and we all did. We all start out in the world as a little girl and it’s not till eight weeks that things start to change. The hormone that drives a baby’s development in the womb up to the week eight mark is oestrogen. This is the key female hormone and is a growth promoting hormone. In a baby’s brain, it promotes the development of huge amounts of connections between the two hemispheres of the brain and channels development to the communication and emotional memory areas of the brain. In a female baby, this development continues all the way through their gestation period and continues to drive their development all the way through their life.”
“This isn’t the case in male babies. At the week eight mark, a huge shift happens. Oestrogen production is reduced dramatically and testosterone floods into the brain. This starts to produce huge changes. A lot of the connections between the two hemispheres are cut and instead of directing resources to the communication areas, they’re instead directed to the aggression and sex drive areas of the brain. These are the areas that drive competitiveness and action.”
“The difference between the two paths isn’t small. It’s huge. And it shapes the way females and males engage their world, right from birth.”
Why Nice Guys Finish Last
After you take the time to study and think about the 50 Real Differences between men and women, boys and girls, you may want to take some time to listen to some real thoughts of adolescent and pre-adolescent girls, as their brains are developing into the brains of grown women. Puberty provides the second great divide between boys and girls, and while perhaps not as profound as what happens inside the womb, it is still a real zinger!
The Diary of a Young Girl (Anne Frank) Audio
A Young Girl’s Diary (via Sigmund Freud) Audio
For some reason, girls seem to take to writing diaries more than boys do. The two diaries above are quite famous and provide a lot of grist for the mill for people who are curious about what goes through those transitioning minds during that critical period.
The differences in the brains and bodies of men and women help explain why men dominate in mathematics, the hard sciences, and a wide range of sports, hobbies, and professions such as chess, tennis, and long distance running.
But women can become world class doctors, lawyers, writers, musicians, psychologists, and politicians. Women comprise a wide range of potentials and are propelled by a variety of motivations and drives. It is not a simple question to ask, “What Do Women Want?”
But if you are a man asking the question of a particular woman, don’t be stupid enough to assume that she wants the same things that you want. Perhaps she does, but don’t assume. If you really want to know, you are going to have to take some chances that you may not be prepared to take. You may have a lot of Jungian shadows that consume too much of your inner energy and confidence, preventing you from opening up to the vital experiences needed to form a genuine connection.
If so, you wouldn’t be the first or the last to stay in that limbo until you die. But it would be more energizing and invigorating to break out of that prison of habit and rigidity that only grows tighter with age — unless something drastic is done.
More: The male instinct to protect and defend women and children is far from obsolete
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