What Do Women Want? Hierarchy of Needs


Abraham Maslow (1908-1970) was an American psychologist best known for his theory on the hierarchy of needs. While it is true that people do not always want the same things as what they need, there is often a parallel between the two.

You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometime you find
You get what you need

Rolling Stones

Starting from the bottom of the pyramid, it is clear that most women will want (1) Physiological needs, (2) Safety needs, (3) Belonging and love needs, and (4) Esteem needs. The top two levels of (5) Self-Actualization, and (6) Self-Transcendence probably also apply to most women — and the wise man in a woman’s life should probably assume that they do.

The top three levels may need a bit of interpretation for a large number of women, however. Many women still obtain a large portion of (4) Esteem needs from their husband or from other family connections. Other women may derive a good portion of their (5) Self-Actualization needs from helping their husbands and children achieve their personal potential. And many women still find their greatest (6) Sense of Meaning and Purpose in being the essential element of their family’s smooth functioning.

It is a truly impoverished woman who lives her entire life only for herself and her own needs. This is something that is not always understood by sociologists and social psychologists — to say nothing of the modern political feminist.

An expanded Maslow Motivational Model is provided below:

Image Source

The problem with the model above is that it is not explicitly adapted to the way women specifically think and feel about life’s challenges and problems.

Most women tend to be more social than most men, so that they are more likely to pay attention to what significant others (friends and family) say that they should do and who they should be, than are most men.

For example, on her own a woman may feel that she is in love with a particular man and feel perfectly happy with the idea of marrying him and starting a family. But if her friends or female relatives tell her that it is out of the question, a woman is more likely to change her mind due to social pressure.

Within the category of “esteem needs” many women can have very strong “status needs” that derive from social connections and marriage. These status needs can be so strong that if her current husband does not give her a high enough status, she will be on a constant lookout for a man who will help meet them — with the result that she “marries up” as soon as possible. In the woman’s mind it is her current husband who is guilty of infidelity — because he should have known that she needed higher status from the very beginning. Shame on him for keeping her down!

So that while a man may marry repeatedly in the attempt to keep a young wife, a woman is more likely to marry repeatedly in the attempt to raise her status via her man.

Wise men and women always keep in mind the innate differences between men and women, at least on a statistical level. Men are more interested in structural and mechanical things and abstract concepts. Women are more interested in people and in nice things for the home.

You cannot be wise these days and still be politically correct or “woke.” You have to be quite stupid to engage in today’s modern groupthink. But these things go in cycles, so rather than planning to move so far into the wilderness that no one can find you, you may instead choose to merely re-locate on the edge of the wilderness — within driving distance of supermarkets, restaurants, shopping, and entertainment.

And once you learn — when we get to the end of this series — what women really want, rather than to throw up your hands and give up on women altogether, you may choose to be realistic and learn how to clone one of your favorite women from scratch. We have the technology . . .

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