The first thing to do is to look in the mirror. Part of the problem is the damage we do to ourselves intentionally. Then there is the damage that was done to us when we were born, and by our early childhood. Finally there are the ravages of time, which steal away our early self-concept of our own attractiveness — however true or untrue.
Yet we can be perfectly presentable in terms of grooming and dress to the objects of our sexual intent and still by our verbal and non-verbal behaviors we can radiate a sense of unease and deep wariness that causes others to maintain their distance. It helps if you can make someone laugh and feel easy.
And then there are persons who never stop talking long enough for any type of connection to begin to form. This can be a sign of embarrassment or it can be a sign of its opposite — narcissistic pathology disorder. Either way, it suggests that the person is not very insightful into his own internal makeup or deeper motivations. Buyer beware!
For even the most normal male-female couples, there is always the great sexual divide which causes the ultimate destruction of most potentially satisfying sexual relationships. Women more often look to sex as a way of deepening intimacy, in the hope that the relationship will move to a deeper level of connection. Men on the other hand more typically just want to hook up and then either go to sleep or go on to other amusements. For a man, the thought of a deeper relationship rarely crosses his mind, except as to use as a temporary superficial tactic to get what he wants, then switching to something else entirely.
In the real world, men and women will often skip the drama and go straight to the booze and drugs, acknowledging the hopelessness of any long-term plan and simply abdicating all responsibility from the outset. This can come about from many years of repeated disappointments, or it can be a habit picked up in college and carried on throughout their lives.
There is a correlation between hopelessness in life outlook and how rapidly a person turns to chemical reinforcement to lubricate their relationships with others. Consider the situation in Russia:
While the situation looks grim, Moscow has been ramping up propaganda in recent years to promote a top-down structure with the state, the military, and the church at the core of Russian society, Lohsen said. Alongside a mass-media environment that’s largely controlled by the state or linked to the Kremlin, such messages could distract the populace from impending economic hardship, he added.
Some young Russians who are unhappy with Putin’s rule fled the country after the war broke out. But there are everyday practicalities to consider for Russians who wish to start afresh outside their home country — such as long-term visas, employment, and financial resources, all of which are now harder to come by because of sanctions over the war, Malik and Lohsen said.A Grim Future Leads to Vodka
This is not just a problem for Russian youth. In the western world cultural institutions such as the media, academia, government, social media, and popular entertainment are strongly supporting an ugly “orthodox world view” that persecutes dissenters and free thinkers. This top-down enforced conformity closes off innovative ideas and potential creative breakthroughs which could otherwise make the human future more abundant and expansive for everyone.
Many informed observers are speculating that Russia could easily disintegrate if Putin does not get what he wants from his brutal and genocidal invasion of Ukraine. But if more liberal western countries continue to double down on their own oppressive agendas of savage racist wokeness and radical environmental movement engineered utter sabotage of economies, the coming downfall of Russia may be seen as a picnic in comparison — since if the west falls no one will be there to pick up the pieces.
Every country has its problems, and some places are better to be if one is looking for a good sex life. For an orthodox Jew, for example, Israel would suggest itself as one of the better places to be — as opposed to Iran or Saudi Arabia, for example.
Think about. No matter how cruel you have been to yourself, how cruel your upbringing was to you, and how cruel time is treating you as the clock ticks on, the possibilities that remain for you cannot be completely negligible. Keep your chin up! Accentuate the positive and escape the innate negativity of your default mode network. If you can feed the happy pathways of your brain what they need, perhaps the good vibes beaming out from you will be received and reciprocated by someone who can give you what you need, for now.
Flexibility can facilitate a broader experience of life. But be true to yourself.