Category Archives: satire

It’s All Part of the Plan

Before their offspring are old enough to be shipped off to private school in Britain, Switzerland or the United States, they must be prepared for life in the West by a full-time [caretaker] in Moscow. Source Replacing Moscow’s Rich but … Continue reading

Posted in Russia, satire | Tagged , , ,

Electing Hillary Dumpty, Just to Make it Fair

The United States has been the world’s richest nation since roughly 1890, for over a century. This long-lasting economic inequity has caused understandable discontent among a number of other nations and would-be superpowers. Even under President Barack Obama — arguably … Continue reading

Posted in Economics, Hillary Clinton, Politics, satire | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

How to Get More Production from Your Female Workers and Slaves

A Guest Article by the Brilliant and Virtually Irreplaceable Administrative Assistant, Valerie Get More Production Out of Your Human Female Slaves Creativity and problem-solving can be very useful attributes in human slaves, even females. Scientists have recently discovered that ordinary … Continue reading

Posted in Creativity, Human Brain, Human Slavery, satire | Tagged , | 1 Comment

90% of Women Prefer a Bigger Penis!

90% of Women Prefer a Bigger Penis Yes, of course, we know that. Sigmund Freud told us that long ago–but they can’t have one, because they’re girls!!! That’s why they call it penis envy. So if women cannot have what … Continue reading

Posted in satire, Sex | Tagged

How to Enlarge Your Penis Size (for Women)

Warning: This blog posting is total satire, with no redeeming social content. Discovery of the Female Phantom Penis Elevates War of the Sexes No matter what she may look like on the outside, all women possess a penis — a … Continue reading

Posted in satire, Sex | Tagged ,

Zombie Survival Camps and Retreats: Be Prepared

To survive, it is often necessary to fight. And to fight you have to dirty yourself. __ George Orwell Zombies? You’re Soaking In Them! You may believe that zombies are the stuff of myth and folklore. Sadly, that is not … Continue reading

Posted in Demographics, Doom, Dysgenics, satire, Survival Prepping, Weapons, Zombies | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Universities? Burn Them to the Ground

This is higher ed’s time for choosing. If this is the new purpose of the universities—to nurture a crop of activists trained at whipping up angry mobs, and a generation of college graduates conditioned to submit to those mobs—then there … Continue reading

Posted in Education, Government, Ideology, Media, satire, University | 3 Comments

Luck o’ the Russians: Back in the USSR!

Back in the mid-1980s, the US CIA did not expect the USSR to collapse in just a handful of years. But Al Fin’s advisors and mentors did. And they were right. In 1986, when asked if the CIA was doing … Continue reading

Posted in Russia, satire | Tagged

Grow an Army of Superhumans Using Affordable Artificial Wombs

Are We Approaching the Age of Effective and Affordable Artificial Wombs? Womb transplants are already here. These transplanted wombs would likely be disposable — they would be removed after successful birth by C-section — and thrown away. These transplanted wombs … Continue reading

Posted in Fertility, Genetics and Gene Expression, Human Slavery, Marriage, Medicine, Regenerative Medicine, Russian Womb Drain, satire, Science, Superbabies, Technology | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Tough Guy French Actor Injured in Averted Train Massacre

[satire] The French Interior Minister met with tough guy French actor Jean Hugues Anglade, after the actor — who plays a tough cop in “Braquo” — was injured while sounding the alarm during an averted train massacre in France. The … Continue reading

Posted in Demographics, Europe, satire | Tagged | 2 Comments

Sinister, Secret Plan to Destroy Russia

  Sinister Forces at Work: The IWGDR The memo below was intercepted from a satellite phone transmission between the chief of the IWGDR [Interagency Working Group for the Destruction of Russia] and dispersed heads of IWGDR regional agencies. It describes … Continue reading

Posted in China, Economics, Russia, satire | Tagged ,

Young Men Pay for College While Boosting Female Sexuality and Healthy Pregnancies

London, UK — The secret to a long life may lie in the human sperm now. In a new study conducted by Graz University scientists in Austria, it has been found that a compound called spermidine, which is found is … Continue reading

Posted in Longevity, satire, Sex | Tagged

Will Intelligent Apes Do the Jobs that Black People Won’t Do?

Note: Source material below may have been inadvertently “paraphrased” in the course of editing and publication, to highlight some of the more subtle aspects of the genetics revolution __ Ed. [satire] High in the Bolivian Alps, deep in the lowest … Continue reading

Posted in Cognition, satire

Jim Duggar Declares for President, Vows to Solve US Fertility Problem

[satire] Al Fin Travels to the Duggars’ Arkansas Home to Interview the Presidential Candidate Al Fin: Thank you for meeting with me today, Mr. Duggar. Jim Duggar: Please, Al, just call me Jim. It’s a pleasure to welcome you to … Continue reading

Posted in Competence, Demographics, Fertility, satire, Survival Prepping | Tagged ,

Reforming Government: We’re Going to Need A Lot More Guillotines!

How Do We Decide How Many Guillotines Are Enough? Since 1990, the number of government workers has expanded by some five million to some twenty million… a growth rate roughly twice that of the population as a whole. … At … Continue reading

Posted in Dark Enlightenment, Idiocracy, satire | 2 Comments

Saving the Earth for Adventure, Fun, and Profit: Earth Warriors

Attention: The article below is a piece of mildly satirical fiction. To Save the Earth, Wind Turbines Must Come Down Al Fin operatives have known about the native plains Earth Warriors for over 15 years. Angered by wind-turbine deaths of … Continue reading

Posted in Electrical Power Grid, Energy, Green Quagmire, satire, Technology | Tagged

Burn the Corrupt Politicians

Consider, if you will, the amount of energy contained within the body of a corrupt politician. Crematoriums are beginning to work out ways of modifying their procedures in order to generate more energy than they consume from the burning of … Continue reading

Posted in Energy, satire

Send Your Child to Prison Instead of College

College is becoming more and more expensive. But the advantages of going to college are diminishing by the year. After TEOTWAWKI — The End of The World As We Know It — your kids will need an entirely different skill … Continue reading

Posted in Dangerous Child, Economics, Education, satire, Survival Prepping, University

Mothers: Make Sure Your Daughters Understand the Risks

The following article is adapted from an earlier posting on Al Fin, You Sexy Thing! Talking to Your Daughters About Trading Sex for Tuition Let’s face it: Paying for college these days is not easy. Tuition rates have skyrocketed much … Continue reading

Posted in Prostitution, satire, Sex | Tagged | 2 Comments

Making Prostitution Legal and College More Affordable for Girls

Previously published on Al Fin, You Sexy Thing! Mes chères études (2010) Making ends meet while going to college can be very difficult for young girls, who have often not lived away from home before going to university. California coeds … Continue reading

Posted in Prostitution, satire, Sex, University | Tagged | 1 Comment