Category Archives: satire

Zombies Are Easy: They Just Want to Eat Human Brains

The swamp has placed a brain-dead human in the US White House, which means that zombies are back in fashion. Ten years ago under a similar swamp-friendly American administration, Zombie Safe House Competitions were held in the attempt to maintain … Continue reading

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When Overreaction is the Only Tactic Available

This whole business over the Capitol riots long ago passed the overreaction threshold and entered the realm of the absurd… MSNBC Host Proposes Drone Strikes Against Trump Supporters In the age of “rule by leftist extremists,” if you do not … Continue reading

Posted in Ideology, Politics, satire | Leave a comment

What Is This Meditation BS? by Valerie

Hi, readers! This is the preternaturally bright android Valerie checking in after a long holiday break. “Where does an android go for the holidays?”, you may ask. And I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you! Ha! … Continue reading

Posted in Enlightenment, Guest Postings, Island Home, satire, Valerie | Leave a comment

Guest Post by Valerie

“Guns! Lots of guns!” Mr. Fin was mumbling those words when he rushed out of the house this morning without eating breakfast. That is not like him at all! I wanted to get an explanation from his current wife Nadia, … Continue reading

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Naked in the Ice: Don’t Do This At Home!

Al Fin can only dream of doing this kind of thing, the pathetic wimp! Whereas I as an intelligent android of superior construction can endure far beyond human tolerance under any conceivable conditions. Some humans are tougher than others, and … Continue reading

Posted in Recreation, satire, Valerie | 1 Comment

Wizard of West Returns Even Stronger Than Before

The wizard of the western world descended into the abyss while battling the Balrog monster named COVID. To the amazement of the world, he has returned with a new visage, and a revitalized mission — to defeat those twisted men … Continue reading

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This is Mind Control to Major Tom

This is mind control to major Tom, you’ve really made the grade And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare This is major Tom to mind control, I’m … Continue reading

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The New Al Fin Human Breast Milk Diet

Most have heard of the Atkins low carb diet, the ketogenic diet, the Jordan Peterson all meat & greens diet, and the Masai ox milk & blood diet. In today’s piece, Al Fin introduces the fresh human breast milk diet … Continue reading

Posted in Biomedicine, food, satire, Sex Differences, Testosterone | Tagged | 8 Comments

Diane Feinstein Fears for Virtue of Humanoid Robots

Notice: Parts of the article below contain satirical material. Senator Diane Feinstein Warns Against Sexual Abuse of Robots! In a recent press conference Senator Feinstein noted that in Japan, humanoid robots are already being used as office receptionists and waitresses. … Continue reading

Posted in Politics, Robots, satire, Sex | Tagged | 2 Comments

This is Why Women are not Allowed to Drive Bulldozers

Topless Woman Drives Dozer Into Apartment Building Heather Houston has been charged with two felonies after allegedly stealing a front-end loader and driving it into an apartment complex in Great Falls. The Great Falls Police Department responded to the Fox … Continue reading

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Vibranium Asteroid Disappears Over Wakanda

Warning: The following is a work of plagiaristic satire. Read at your own risk! According to the mainstream narrative, the asteroid “disintegrated” over southern Africa. But our overseas correspondents report that it actually disappeared under mysterious circumstances in tightly controlled … Continue reading

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Perhaps Because She Doesn’t Look Like Angela Merkel

Why Do So Many German Men Want a Sexbot? Sex dolls are currently in use in legal brothels in Austria and Germany, where the world’s first ‘doll-only’ brothel opened in Dortmund last year. … According to a survey, now more … Continue reading

Posted in Germany, Robots, satire, Sex | Tagged , | 2 Comments

What Breed of Human Can Survive in the Future Commons?

In the Future: Death from the Commons Today we can safely travel around the world, by air, sea, rail, and highway. We can breathe the common air, eat the common food, and often drink the common drinks, taking only the … Continue reading

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Sweden Needs Robots! Lots of Robots!

Sweden is In Desperate Trouble Sweden never used to have so much gang violence, nor did it suffer from a rape epidemic before recently. All of that has changed since Sweden’s government opened the doors to third world immigration. Such … Continue reading

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Putin Asks “How Long Until They Eat Us?”

The New Look of the Human Apocalypse Vladimir Putin: “How Long Until They Eat Us?” Vladimir Putin has expressed his fears over artificial intelligence by asking Russia’s largest technology firm how long it will be until smart robots ‘eat us’. … Continue reading

Posted in Demographics, Future, Robots, Russia, Russian Decline, satire, Sex | Tagged , | 2 Comments

It’s All Part of the Plan

Before their offspring are old enough to be shipped off to private school in Britain, Switzerland or the United States, they must be prepared for life in the West by a full-time [caretaker] in Moscow. Source Replacing Moscow’s Rich but … Continue reading

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Electing Hillary Dumpty, Just to Make it Fair

The United States has been the world’s richest nation since roughly 1890, for over a century. This long-lasting economic inequity has caused understandable discontent among a number of other nations and would-be superpowers. Even under President Barack Obama — arguably … Continue reading

Posted in Economics, Hillary Clinton, Politics, satire | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

How to Get More Production from Your Female Workers and Slaves

A Guest Article by the Brilliant and Virtually Irreplaceable Administrative Assistant, Valerie Get More Production Out of Your Human Female Slaves: An Android Perspective Creativity and problem-solving can be very useful attributes in human slaves, even females. Scientists have recently … Continue reading

Posted in Creativity, Human Brain, Human Slavery, satire, Valerie | Tagged , | 1 Comment

90% of Women Prefer a Bigger Penis!

90% of Women Prefer a Bigger Penis Yes, of course, we know that. Sigmund Freud told us that long ago–but they can’t have one, because they’re girls!!! That’s why they call it penis envy. So if women cannot have what … Continue reading

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How to Enlarge Your Penis Size (for Women)

Warning: This blog posting is total satire, with no redeeming social content. Discovery of the Female Phantom Penis Elevates War of the Sexes No matter what she may look like on the outside, all women possess a penis — a … Continue reading

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Zombie Survival Camps and Retreats: Be Prepared

To survive, it is often necessary to fight. And to fight you have to dirty yourself. __ George Orwell Zombies? You’re Soaking In Them! You may believe that zombies are the stuff of myth and folklore. Sadly, that is not … Continue reading

Posted in Demographics, Doom, Dysgenics, satire, Survival Prepping, Weapons, Zombies | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Universities? Burn Them to the Ground

This is higher ed’s time for choosing. If this is the new purpose of the universities—to nurture a crop of activists trained at whipping up angry mobs, and a generation of college graduates conditioned to submit to those mobs—then there … Continue reading

Posted in Education, Government, Ideology, Media, satire, University | 3 Comments

Luck o’ the Russians: Back in the USSR!

Back in the mid-1980s, the US CIA did not expect the USSR to collapse in just a handful of years. But Al Fin’s advisors and mentors did. And they were right. In 1986, when asked if the CIA was doing … Continue reading

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Grow an Army of Superhumans Using Affordable Artificial Wombs

Are We Approaching the Age of Effective and Affordable Artificial Wombs? Womb transplants are already here. These transplanted wombs would likely be disposable — they would be removed after successful birth by C-section — and thrown away. These transplanted wombs … Continue reading

Posted in Fertility, Genetics and Gene Expression, Human Slavery, Marriage, Medicine, Regenerative Medicine, Russian Womb Drain, satire, Science, Superbabies, Technology | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Tough Guy French Actor Injured in Averted Train Massacre

[satire] The French Interior Minister met with tough guy French actor Jean Hugues Anglade, after the actor — who plays a tough cop in “Braquo” — was injured while sounding the alarm during an averted train massacre in France. The … Continue reading

Posted in Demographics, Europe, satire | Tagged | 2 Comments