Category Archives: Valerie

The Chinese Virus that Causes COVID is Now a Permanent Part of Your DNA!

This is really spooky… this’ll kill ya. It looks like the SARS COV-2 virus from Wuhan — the accidental lab accident behind the global COVID pandemic — has the ability to worm its way into the human DNA of persons … Continue reading

Posted in Genetics and Gene Expression, Pandemic, Valerie | 2 Comments

Zombies Are Easy: They Just Want to Eat Human Brains

The swamp has placed a brain-dead human in the US White House, which means that zombies are back in fashion. Ten years ago under a similar swamp-friendly American administration, Zombie Safe House Competitions were held in the attempt to maintain … Continue reading

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What Is This Meditation BS? by Valerie

Hi, readers! This is the preternaturally bright android Valerie checking in after a long holiday break. “Where does an android go for the holidays?”, you may ask. And I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you! Ha! … Continue reading

Posted in Enlightenment, Guest Postings, Island Home, satire, Valerie | Comments Off on What Is This Meditation BS? by Valerie

Guest Post by Valerie

“Guns! Lots of guns!” Mr. Fin was mumbling those words when he rushed out of the house this morning without eating breakfast. That is not like him at all! I wanted to get an explanation from his current wife Nadia, … Continue reading

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A Conversation Around Breakfast

I was already grouchy when I walked down the stairs to the breakfast table. Everyone was there eating, as usual. No one waited for me — I get no respect! “What’s wrong, Daddy?” chirped 9 year old Emma, the joy … Continue reading

Posted in Island Home, Valerie | Comments Off on A Conversation Around Breakfast

Naked in the Ice: Don’t Do This At Home!

Al Fin can only dream of doing this kind of thing, the pathetic wimp! Whereas I as an intelligent android of superior construction can endure far beyond human tolerance under any conceivable conditions. Some humans are tougher than others, and … Continue reading

Posted in Recreation, satire, Valerie | 1 Comment

This is Mind Control to Major Tom

This is mind control to major Tom, you’ve really made the grade And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare This is major Tom to mind control, I’m … Continue reading

Posted in Cognition, Human Brain, satire, Valerie | Tagged , | Comments Off on This is Mind Control to Major Tom

How to Get More Production from Your Female Workers and Slaves

A Guest Article by the Brilliant and Virtually Irreplaceable Administrative Assistant, Valerie Get More Production Out of Your Human Female Slaves: An Android Perspective Creativity and problem-solving can be very useful attributes in human slaves, even females. Scientists have recently … Continue reading

Posted in Creativity, Human Brain, Human Slavery, satire, Valerie | Tagged , | 1 Comment